【Overview】

1990 ... Beginning with the externalization of the mind for self-approval,

From fashion photography, portraits of celebrities, retirement from the industry to "Existence and Message" after self-reform.

Following the trajectory of 30 years, guided by the underlying "existence recognition" that has remained unchanged in the changing circumstances and styles.

Chapter1: Externalization for self-approval

Chapter 2: Beginning portrait

Chapter3: Style construction and recognition of existence from others

Chapter 4: Fluctuation recognition of existence

Chapter 5: Portrait in Home / Last Lie

Chapter6: Presence and Message

[Chapter commentary]

Chapter1: Externalization for self-approval

The externalization of the mind expressed in photographs for self-approval, which started in a place that was not conscious at that time.

I spent my childhood when I didn't express my emotions obediently, and I was not good at communicating with groups and people, so I felt that I was able to balance with society because I encountered the expression method of photography. increase.

Dialogue with oneself while looking at the externalized one's mind through a photograph, notice, know, accept, consciously clarify one's existence recognition, and the photograph is recognized by others and many strokes As a result, I think that the acquisition had a positive effect on human formation.

​

Chapter2: Face yourself through the portrait / subject at the beginning

A portrait taken on the streets of Paris in 1994.

The man, who had been worried for a long time, was always weak on his wheelchair and couldn't even see his drooping face, but when he asked me to take a picture, he said, "Of course." The appearance of this photo as it is.

I can't forget the moment when the air suddenly changed while answering "I'm rooting for you, be absolutely famous" and "Of course" from him after shooting. I have a feeling of respect and gratitude for a long time.

The style that was taken for the externalization of the mind that was directed a little was settled by announcing it in Paris, but the continuation of this work that will be the next stage will be taken 20 years later. I couldn't even imagine it would be later.

For the first time, I faced the subject one-on-one from the front, and while I was conscious of giving priority to the depiction of the existence of the subject itself, it was necessary for me, who was still immature at the time, to face myself through the subject. It is also a work that gave me an opportunity to know.

Chapter3: Style construction and recognition of existence from others

When I thought about my position as a commercial photographer, I lost sight of the direction I should go when I was free to release the shutter near the expression of the externalization of my mind.

To put it on a commercial basis, we have to change from "expression" to "expression". The shooting of butoh dancers and dancers requested at that time became a hint to build a style as a photographer, and I was able to connect the two tastes of "quiet" and "moving" to the future as individuality.

From this point on, my recognition of existence will move from the stage of targeting myself to the stage of being aware of the recognition of existence from others.

Chapter 4: Fluctuation recognition of existence

A character called MAL created with the idea that if you make a living in photography, you have to take pictures that are against your will. However, looking back, all the pictures I took there are my very existence.

Through those photographs (mediums) taken while shaving the soul, such as magazine covers and advertisements, the enormous strokes (existence recognition) received from many people who would not have been able to obtain in normal life Is still grateful from the bottom of my heart.

However, in the changing circumstances, the action I chose was to retire from the industry ... rather than stop the photographer itself.

I chose to face my existence again at an unprecedented level by scraping off most of the achievements, personal connections, things and pride, camera equipment, and finally from long hair to shaved head, except for life.

However, what I felt there, who should have learned psychology and had some knowledge of the mind, was an unbearable sense of loss far beyond imagination.

Who am I who didn't release the shutter and stopped expressing?

If I do what I don't like to live, my heart and my existence will be close to death.

I'm alive, but I'm not alive. I'm here, but I'm not here ... 

If I hadn't had seven years of deeply facing myself, including three years when I hadn't touched the camera at all, I wouldn't have taken a portrait here again.

Chapter 5: Portrait at Home / Last Lie

A few years before I retired from the industry.

The method I chose to confront and sublimate the squirrels that remained in my heart was still portrait.

In order to reconfirm my existence and roots, I returned to my parents' house several times, took portraits of my family and relatives, printed them in large size, pasted them on the walls in the room, and had a dialogue with myself.

The last lie to myself that has become clear by resolving this snarl.

The events here are also one of the major reasons for leaving the industry later.

Chapter 6: Presence and Message / Edge of Life

"Existence and Message" was built while reducing psychological skills after returning to the photographer, and "Edge of Life" derived from it.

While specializing in portraying the energy of living and the very existence of human beings, the subject is people with terminal cancer and those who are living their lives in their own way. A portrait where you can interact with yourself ...

The answer you want may be in that one piece.

[Edge of Life]

This project has overcome the survival rate of 0% by itself and is currently underway with the cooperation of Ms. Kouka Yoshimoto, who is also the representative of NPO Smile Girls.

[Koka Yoshimoto: Representative of NPO Smile Girls]

Representative of NPO Smile Girls Experienced recurrence and metastasis from cervical cancer to lymph nodes and liver 5 times. He was said to have a short life expectancy, but miraculously remitted. Currently, based on that experience, he is developing activities mainly to support female cancer patients and their families with his colleagues.

[Message from MAL]

2020 ...

Now, I am working every day to be a mirror of the people who are the subjects, and to create a portrait in which they can interact with their existence through photography.

The definition of "recognition of existence" that has always been at the root of me is "I know you are there."

In psychological terms, it is also called a stroke, which is what the human mind wants most for living, and it is said that a person cannot live without it.

Portrait photography is the best way to get a feel for the "existence recognition / stroke".

I can't tell you everything about it in words, but the answer is depicted in the picture.

Living the present life of any person may be the work of satisfying the "recognition of existence" or the work of confirming the "recognition of existence" with others including important people.

If the answer you wanted was there by interacting with yourself and your loved ones in a mirror in a single portrait, I would love to do it.